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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes I'm recorded while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of 10 years, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes vlogs about city life, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes she films me while dining, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I’ll have no makeup on, making a strange expression or be captured while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I'm in conversation to another person, or we're simply hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has turned into me being her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend helping her create material.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or dishonest, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with another. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an audience. I am not a prop for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the creations we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of informal, self-made content creation.

Creating content is my version of living actively: noticing the details, sharing them with an viewership that values the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to professional gatherings was my method of offering access, giving her a opportunity to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her career in design too. That’s not leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see what the content we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not all people enjoys being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my private videographer, but friends support one another in small ways. My assumption was recording a clip here or there would be enjoyable for her. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes endeavors lively and enjoyable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I’d never intentionally embarrass her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I record our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like requesting permission before filming, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. Given the dark, looming future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn't imply everyone around her is willing material. She must to respect her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to listen to what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor authentic when they're together – she’s working. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been exploiting their bond?